eating clocks is really time consuming
especially when you go back for seconds
The gif is perfect because it represents the only two possible reactions to this joke
I get so overwhelmed whenever I get an iTunes gift card
Like what music do I deem worthy enough to legally purchase?
have you ever thought about the fact that like 6 people died because romeo couldn’t control his dick
This makes it sound like he went round with his dick smacking people to death because he can’t control it
is that not what happened
me: ah yes time to start my homework
me: *opens tumblr*
me: *watches 25 youtube tutorials*
me: *sings the entirety of bohemian rhapsody*
me: *rearranges room*
me: *reads les mis*
me: *watches every tom hiddleston interview on the internet*
me: *writes a novel*
me: *publishes novel*
me: *has novel made into 3 movies and a video game*
me: *takes the ring to mordor*
me: *defeats lord voldemort*
me: well its too late to start it now
if i ever have kids instead of being like “it’s a boy” im going to send out highly bewildering cards that say things like “it’s the chosen one” and “it’s probably not a lizard” and “we’re not sure what it is, but it just set the couch on fire, please send help” with a different thing to every person i send one to just to see what people show up at the baby shower with
this is the best ideA
baby showers in Night Vale
I’m not even sorry
Does anyone get upset when you’re dreaming and it ends on a cliffhanger? I’m dead serious I can’t tell you how many times I’m having a good or weird dream then wake up like OMG WHAT DID HE FIND OUT IS HE OK WHAT SHOULD I- fuck what was I dreaming about again
All I do is make music and lie to my family and friends that I’m happy
I NEVER NOTICED UNTIL TEN MINUTES AGO THAT ANDY USED TO WEAR JESSIE’S HAT WHEN PLAYING WITH WOODY AND FOR SOME REASON THIS MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY
Wait a second…
Jessie’s previous owner, Emily, wore a hat similar to Jessie’s. And now Andy is wearing one.
Guys… what if Emily is Andy’s mom?!
please dont do this. not 10 years later please dont give me toy story feels
Percy: *wakes up in the middle of the night and turns to Annabeth* I figured out why you used to be mean to Rachel.
Annabeth: Percy you are stilll thinking of that? It was kind of obivious.
Percy: Yea you were jealous
Annabeth: Duh, it took you so lo-
Percy: of Rachel’s red hair cause you always hated having blonde hair.
Percy: No need to say it, I know you so well.
why WOULDN’T you want your tax dollars to go towards paying for medicine and healthcare for other people
i’m having trouble understanding why you wouldn’t want to help other people be healthy. i like that. i think it’s nice. im absolutely okay with paying some taxes for that
can we have an episode of supernatural where a good intentioned girl is practicing witchcraft and curses team free will and it censors all their swears so they end up saying ‘oh fudge’ and ‘gosh dang it’ and ‘son of a ding dong’
Please someone tell Misha